The Five Dumbest Skateboarding Tricks

Don’t get me wrong, no one really has the right to say which skateboarding tricks are cool and which skateboarding tricks are dumb.

It’s really a matter of personal opinion and, by and large, the style of the individual pulling them off. I mean, if you ever saw me do a kickflip, you’d think it was the dumbest thing you’d ever seen. My style is pure little kid sketch. But a kickflip in the right hands (so those of most people) is, naturally, a cool-looking trick.

And that’s how the five dumbest skateboarding tricks on this list are. When done by most of us, they look like plain old shit. But many of them are actually pretty hard to pull off. And when done by someone with the right mix of style and skill, they can look pretty damn amazing. The point is that these five dumbest skateboarding tricks look stupid the vast majority of the time. But, as always, there are a select few among us that can make them look quite nice indeed. And, shoot, skateboarding is all about fun first and foremost, so if you love one of these tricks, keep on doing it. You might look like a dingus but who the hell cares.

1. Ho-Ho

While the Ho-Ho actually looks decent on a snowboard, it is a whole different story when a skateboard enters the picture. One of skateboarding’s original flatground tricks, the Ho-Ho is silly-looking, plain and simple. I mean, c’mon, a two-handed plant where you balance the skateboard on top of your feet while walking around with your hands? Not to hate on old school tricks but unless you’re Mike Vallely, the Ho-Ho is a little wack.

The willy grind isn’t such a bad trick all things considered. It’s basically a 50-50 where the front truck is locked onto the rail and the back truck hangs off to the side of the rail. It’s almost like a smith grind on the nose of the board. What makes this trick dumb though is that it’s most often done by people that can’t 50-50. They try to pop up onto the rail, can’t make it all the way up, and end up with the back truck off. If you know your 50-50s, I’d say stay away from the willy. If you’re still learning 50-50s, the willy is just a natural part of progression.

The only tricks on this list I really think are completely dumb are YouTube flip tricks. You know what I’m talking about: the nightmare flip, disco flip, dolphin flip, and pretty much any other _____ flip that has a wacky name you’ve never heard before. Most of them are just stupid names for doubles or variations on standard tricks. The nightmare flip, for instance, is a double varial flip (I think). The big thing about YouTube tricks is that they’re mostly performed by people that can’t really skate. They’ve got a solid bag of crazy tricks on flat but put an obstacle in front of them, even just a curb, and they’ve suddenly got nothing to show for all that practice.

4. Benihana

Being a younger dude myself, I don’t think I even knew what a benihana was until Tony Hawk’s Pro Skater came out in the late 90’s. Like most who loved the game, I thought they were dope (they sure did get you a lot of points). Nowadays, however, the only people you see pulling benihanas at the park are benihana-only dudes. Not trying to step on anyone’s toes, but they’re usually done by a scummy-looking dude that is having trouble pushing before launching the trick out of a small quarter to flat. But throw a little style into the mix, and a well-executed benihana by your local pro might just make you wish you were a kid again trying to rack up your special meter.

What can be said about the backflip? They’re one of the dumbest and coolest skateboarding tricks ever (though I’d lean heavily towards dumb). Now, there is no chance in hell that I’m ever going to be able to do a backflip but, then again, I wouldn’t want to either. They’re another one of those skateboarding tricks that should stay firmly rooted in the realm of little kids and scummy-dudes. But, shit, as stupid as they are, it’s not every day that you see someone backflip out of the quarter at the local park. Whenever I do, I can’t help but let out a rousing cheer.