Top 5 Ways to Get Arrested this Canada Day Long Weekend

Never been to the drunk tank? Canada Day long weekend is a perfect time for your first visit! Follow these 5 foolproof ways to a concrete pillow.

5. Get in a fight with a bouncer

Basically no matter what, you're always going to come out the loser in any confrontation with bar staff. They've got power in numbers, are probably jacked up on coke and if all else fails have no problem lying to the cops to get you hauled away. Bonus: Even though 99% of them are untrained idiots who have no idea what their actual job is, the cops seem to feel as though they're on the same team as these guys and are happy to oblige.

4. Forget your beer cozie at home 

Drinking in public is an art-form. And like any art you need to practice on the small stage before taking it out in public. Juice bottles, beer cozies and even fillable bras are all going to need to become familiar tools if you expect to get away with this one.

3. Don't back down

Some douchebag makes a comment while passing you in crowd … what do you do? Let it slide? Fuck no! This is the perfect opportunity to show all your friend how tough you are.

2. Let's go streaking in the quad!

Public nudity is the perfect way to go down. You're basically guaranteed to get laughs, either for your antics or your shrivelled up dick, and if nothing else the cops have to deal with your nakedness if they wanna take you out. It's a win-win.

1. Say anything to a cop

Cops, especially when surrounded by large crowds, have the tendency to .. how should I put this kindly … act like fucking assholes. Yes, the occasional one has half a brain between his ears but for the most part these lovely men and women who are supposedly "our finest" are usually nothing more than power-tripping egomaniacs who got picked on in high-school. They are no doubt an integral part of our society, but when it comes to crowd control and dealing with drunk people – from what I've seen at least – 9 times out of 10 a monkey could do a better job.

Hopefully this list helps you have a weekend you'll never forget. And don't forget …