The People You Meet on the Chairlift

It happens—maybe your buddy had to head down early for work, or perhaps most of your friends were too hung-over to make their way up the mountain. Whatever it is, there is now a vacancy on your chairlift and a lineup of eager singles just waiting to fill it. Whoever you end up with will either make or break the next several minutes of your life.

Having ridden many a chairlift in my time, I have noticed that the majority of the people I have shared a chair with can be classified into one of the following categories:

The Old Timer

This person has been skiing since before you were born, and will be quick the share the fact that they were here back when this chairlift didn’t even exist and when the après hotspot had a different name and, by the way, why are your pants so baggy? If you can fit a word in edgewise, you will probably enjoy talking with the Old Timer. You will eventually realize that this guy is just you in forty years.

The Ski School Kid

Eyes wide and skis in solid pizza formation, this child has been thrust upon you by their overwhelmed ski instructor. You will find yourself wondering if this kid is old enough to walk, let alone ski. When the reality hits that you are responsible for their survival for the next seven minutes, things will begin to get real. You will ask the small person a question about their day, and things will go one of two ways. They will either stare at you in fear, remembering at once all the stranger danger rules their mum told them about, or they will happily talk your ear off and provide some excellent entertainment. Either way, you will breathe a sigh of relief as they dismount the lift in one piece, reminding you once more that you are totally not ready to have children.

It's all just luck of the draw who you're going to end up rubbing knees with

The Antisocial

This guy is not here to make friends. That’s why he isn’t skiing with friends. His earbuds are in and his phone is out before the party bar has even been pulled down. If you try to make small talk, you will be completely ignored. Kids these days.

The Tourist

The Tourist is stoked! They have just arrived and are ready for the best week of their year. They will likely react with extreme joy when they find out they are seated with a local and will pepper you with questions about your job, how long you’ve lived here, and what your favourite runs are (“Is that a blue?”). The Tourist is both excited and terrified, having not touched a ski since the five days they put in last year. Regardless, their stoke will rub off on you and remind that your everyday life is more awesome than most people’s holidays.

The Babe

The Babe is the ultimate score. You probably spotted them while you were still waiting in line, and thanked the magic line up forces that resulted in them getting on to your chair. You will talk extra loud and laugh extra hard with your friends in order to impress the Babe, hopefully inviting them into your conversation. By the time you’ve reached the top, perhaps you will have found the missing puzzle piece to complete your perfect chair lift foursome. More likely than not, though, before you can take things to the next level (off-chairlift hangout) they will bid you adieu and ski off into the abyss, never to be seen again.

What category do you think these guys are in? Only one way to find out